


Pieces of a Whole

by Catw00man



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Community: FMA_CYA, F/F, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-06-18
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catw00man/pseuds/Catw00man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a potentially career ending injury Riza finds a new definition of "being whole."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieces of a Whole

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for [fma_cya](http://fma-cya.livejournal.com) livejournal community as well as the [FMA_CYA Collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/FMA_CYA/profile) here on AO3. It turned out to be a very interesting challenge for me as I usually do not write Winry, much less Winry and Riza, but in the end I feel like I gained a greater insight into both these characters. I hope you enjoy. :-)
> 
> Fill for the fma_cya prompt: _Winry/Riza - Riza's lost an arm and is in need of an automail mechanic. Winry ends up becoming that and more._  
> 

This isn’t how things were supposed to go. 

Who’s ever heard of a one armed sniper anyway? The very idea is ridiculous. But there’s still a job to do and, handicapped or not, she won’t be putting in for retirement. She can’t afford to. If only they hadn’t been in Aerugo when she was shot. The doctors there tried to help, but they weren’t as adept at treating gunshot wounds as those in Amestris. It may have cost her her arm, but at least she protected the General. The question now is, who will protect him the next time?

Riza sighs and leans back against the wall. The bench in the automail shop waiting area isn’t the most comfortable thing to sit on, but she’s dealt with much worse on her journey here. She closes her eyes and for the moment enjoys the peace of being alone. She knows they’ve meant well, but if she had to endure one more of Mustang’s encouraging speeches or Edward’s rambling about the amazing advances in automail she might’ve had to shoot one of them. But then there would be the inevitable whining and there’s no way she could handle it. Not now. 

It was actually a fortunate thing Edward was still waiting for them when they returned to Ishval. She never would’ve made this journey otherwise. But she knows that besides herself no one would do a better job watching after the General…if they aren’t at each other’s throats. She never expected Ed to return to the military after he restored his brother, but it seems there were a lot of things about the former alchemist she didn’t see, his special friendship with Roy being the primary one. It’s been more of an adjustment for her than she ever anticipated, and not for the first time on this trip she’s glad for the respite however brief. 

Riza fists her right hand in her lap and chides herself over being so petty. She knows she shouldn’t be bothered by the situation, especially since they’ve done everything possible to be discreet. But, as it turns out, it’s a lot easier to endure a dedicated and celibate existence when you have someone to share it with. Now that things have changed she’s found herself more times than not being jealous of the “special friendship” between the two of them. She’d never admit to it of course, but sometimes it’s more than she wants to deal with, especially now. 

She shouldn’t be so annoyed. Everyone’s been more than supportive, but none of them really understand. She’s not an alchemist like Ed was or Roy is. She can’t just clap her hands together, flesh or not, and move or set fire to the world. No, she needs precise motor control honed over _years_ of training and practice. That can’t be replaced with a hunk of motorized metal no matter what anyone says. She wonders if this is how Havoc felt. He called himself a broken pawn and right now that’s exactly how she feels, broken and incomplete. How will she ever be whole again? 

A firm hand on her shoulder pulls her out of her brooding and she opens her eyes to be met by hard blue ones staring her down. They’re intense and obviously taking her measure as she would expect from someone so skilled in her craft. What she doesn’t expect is what seems to be a look of understanding in her eyes instead of the usual pity. But how could she? How could anyone? From the day she joined the military she promised herself she’d never be completely reliant on anyone again the way she was with her father. Now her whole future relies on this blond woman in front of her. How could she possibly understand that?

“I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting. It’s been a long day.” Winry pulls her hand away and takes a step back to give her room to stand. “If you’d rather do this tomorrow I can fit you in first thing. I know it was a long trip.”

“No, thank you. If you don’t mind, I’d like to do this now.” Riza slides off the bench and glances around as she stands. The waiting room’s completely empty now and she sees through the front windows it’s nearly dusk. She’s been here longer than she thought. That explains the stiffness in her lower back. She glances back to Winry and quickly adds, “Unless you’d rather we did this tomorrow….”

“I wouldn’t hear of it.” Winry had turned to lead her further into the shop and now she stops to look back at Riza. “You’ve come a long way. If you’re ready to get started, let’s do it.” She gives her a smile that helps Riza relax a little bit. She’s never known Winry very well, but from the look in her eyes it’s easy to tell she’s being genuine.

Riza follows Winry down a small hallway with a couple rooms branching off it. A passing glance shows them to be furnished with a patient table, a couple chairs as well as countless tools probably used for automail maintenance. All the rooms are empty and Winry surprises her by bypassing them and taking her to the end of the hall into what seems to be her personal workshop. It’s a larger room filled with even more tools hanging along the walls. There’s a large workbench along the back wall and another piece of furniture that resembles a hospital bed. Riza winces and wonders if this is where the torture of her new life begins.

“Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I need to grab a few things.” Winry motions toward the end of the bed and Riza’s eyes widen. Surely she doesn’t mean to start fitting the automail now. Isn’t it a more customized job? She wants to get on with things but she’s not ready for this yet! Winry pauses at her workbench to give her a puzzled look which quickly turns to a smile. “Don’t worry, I only need to take some measurements today. Nothing painful, I promise.”

Riza blows out a relieved breath and gives her a sheepish smile in return. “Sorry, Edward tried to tell me some about the process, but I have to admit I didn’t listen as much as I should have.” She walks over to the end of the bed and hops up on it. It’s well cushioned and surprisingly much more comfortable than it looks. Compared to the hard bench in the waiting room and on the train it’s almost luxuriant. It’s all she can do to keep herself from lying back on it completely.

Winry comes over to her right side a moment later with a tray of supplies she sets on a table next to the bed. She runs an appraising eye over her before meeting Riza’s weary look. “Would you mind if I took off your jacket?”

“Of course not,” she replies and starts to reach up and do it herself, but Winry’s already beat her too it, carefully and deftly unbuttoning and pushing off her blue, military coat. The ease with which she does it lets her know she’s not the first soldier Winry’s treated. Most people unfamiliar with the uniforms struggle with the fastenings, not that she’s had many occasions to explore that fact. Winry’s touch is surprisingly gentle and she looks over to watch as she takes measurements on her right arm. “You’ve done this a lot?”

Winry looks up from her arm to give her a curious look and Riza nods toward the jacket laying behind her on the bed. “Oh, yeah, Rush Valley doesn’t have the strongest military presence but we still get our fair share of wounded soldiers.” She directs her attention back to Riza’s arm, turning it over and looking at it closely from her shoulder all the way down to her hand. “As I’m sure you remember, I didn’t have the highest impression of the military when I was growing up. It was just a giant, faceless monster who took away those I loved.” She raises her eyes to meet Riza’s and there’s an unexpected softness in them. “But I’ve come to learn the military is far from faceless.”

Riza nods silently as Winry pulls away and moves around the bed to look at her bandaged stump of an arm. It was amputated a little below the shoulder and to this day she’s hardly been able to look at it. It’s long since healed, yet Winry’s touch is still light but with a purpose. She doesn’t handle her like a delicate flower, but she doesn’t treat her like a piece of meat either. It’s a welcome balance to the doctors she’s seen already.

“This is good. This is really good. Ed should’ve told me.” Riza frowns at her words and finally forces herself to look and see what she’s doing. She grimaces as she sees Winry lifting and studying the stump. The sight makes her shake her head. “You have full movement, right? Nothing in the socket’s damaged?”

Riza’s eyes fix on a point across the room. She doesn’t understand the excitement she saw in Winry’s eyes and she’s not sure she wants to. This has been a nightmare ever since she woke up missing an arm and she can’t imagine what there is to get so excited about. “I suppose you could say that.” 

Not that it matters. She’s intentionally tried to avoid using what remains of her left arm as much as possible. During the first few weeks it was just too devastating. Every time she’d move her stump it felt like her whole arm was still there. She found herself more times than not reaching for things with a hand that no longer existed. Each time was so demoralizing she finally stopped all together. Now she’s here to have a hunk of metal attached to it and she still doesn’t know how she feels about that. She tried talking about this before, but neither Ed nor Mustang would understand so she stopped taking and gave in.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, umm…may I call you Riza?”

She continues to look across the room at piece of sharp edged equipment that should terrify her. But after what’s already been done to her it leaves her surprisingly emotionless. She nods and forces herself to answer. “Of course.”

“Riza, do you think you’re the first person who’s come in here with mixed feelings about the prospect of automail?”

That jolts her back into the present. 

She quickly turns her head to find Winry standing at the end of the bed in front of her. The bed’s height has them face to face and Winry looks her directly in the eye. From all she’d ever seen of this young woman she expected her to be extolling the virtues of automail just like Ed did. But instead she sees an understanding and compassion in her she’s not met in anyone else since the shooting. Most people look at her with either pity or distaste, and when she brought up her doubts those looks turned to disbelief. Could Winry actually understand?

Winry reaches out slowly and takes her right hand, turning it so the palm faces up. Riza feels her work roughened thumb trace along the center of her own calloused palm and somehow the touch calms her and brings her fully into the moment. She’s transfixed on the woman in front of her and the serious look on her face. 

“I can’t give you back exactly what you lost.” She pauses and Riza instinctively knows whatever she says next will be the truth. “But I promise, I’ll do everything I can to make you whole again.” Until this very moment Riza didn’t think “whole” would ever be a possibility but now, she’s starting to wonder. “That is, if you decide this is what you want.”

“You….” She can’t even form words. No one has understood. Everyone thought she was insane for not jumping at the chance to have a new, stronger, better limb. Ed even made the comment that he sometimes missed his metal arm. “You understand…?”

“Of course I do.” Riza feels her thumb trace lightly down her palm again and this time it sends the slightest of shivers down her spine. “As much as I love automail, I’d be a fool not to realize how terrifying the idea of it can be, especially with how clunky it can be for a woman.” Winry slowly pulls her hand away and Riza chides herself for missing the reassuring touch. “I’ve thought about it myself, more than once, because as amazing as automail is, it’s always come a little short as far as fine movement.” Winry smiles and Riza doesn’t miss how her eyes light up. “If you don’t mind, before you make your decision, I’d like to show you something.”

Riza nods and quietly murmurs, “Okay.” She’s still surprised that of all the people who would understand her reservations, it would be someone who makes automail their life’s work. It’s unexpected, but reassuring at the same time. She’s never been a vain person, but Winry touched on something else she hasn’t been able to avoid thinking about. The thought of an oversized metal limb on her frame…is more than unappealing, not that it would matter much.

“When Ed called me I’d intended to be on one of the first trains when you returned to Amestris. I have to apologize for making you come all the way out here, but I couldn’t get away.” She shakes her head and rummages around on her workbench for something Riza can’t see. “Business has been really busy, but maybe if that last intern had worked out—”

“Ed never should’ve asked you to do that. I never expected you to come to me.” Riza frowns. She should’ve known Ed would take things too far. Sure he was well meaning, but he has no right to be snapping his fingers and expecting this talented woman to come running. It’s not right. “He shouldn’t have made demands on you.”

“What?” Winry looks over her shoulder with a confused look which quickly turns into a smile. “No, you misunderstand. Ed knows better than that.” She picks up something on the workbench with both hands and her smile broadens. “I wanted to come, but since I couldn’t I was able to get a lot more work done on this.” Winry turns around and Riza’s eyes widen at the gleaming piece of automail in her hands.

Even from first glance she can tell it’s not like any automail she’s ever seen. Winry comes closer and as she does Riza can see a hand that’s more delicately crafted than she ever knew automail could be. The fingers are long and slender, much like her own, and she has no doubt a hand like that could easily fire a pistol. Most automail fingers are much too thick to work the trigger mechanism of a gun, but that’s only one of the challenges they face. Managing things like writing with an automail hand are nearly unheard of but with this beautiful piece of engineering…she has to wonder.

“You can tell, can’t you?” Winry beams as she closes the distance between them and turns the partial limb over to let Riza look closer at it. “Automail has always been thicker and heavier due to the mechanisms needed to run it. You could only make hands and fingers so small and still have them work.” She snorts softly and shakes her head. “That’s fine for someone like Ed who mainly used his arm as a club to swing at people’s heads.” Winry raises her eyes to look at Riza’s as her voice grows softer. “But it’s different for people like us, for someone who uses their hands and needs a more delicate touch. I’ve been working on this idea for years and, if you decide it’s for you, I’d be honored if you’d be the one to try it out.”

Riza’s speechless, not only from the marvel of engineering before her, but by the deep look in Winry’s eyes that holds more than just compassion. There’s no question this project is very dear to her and Riza feels immensely honored to have it offered to her, but there’s more to this. She can feel it. She glances down at the unfinished arm that looks no bigger than her own and the only things she can manage to say is, “How…?”

Winry seems satisfied by her interest and looks down at the arm as well. She reaches out for Riza’s hand and gently guides it over the perfectly crafted metal fingers and wrist. “Some of it is experimental, of course, and it will probably never be as strong as the one Ed used to use as a club.” She raises her eyes to meet Riza’s again and somehow she’s gotten closer than she was before. “But I wasn’t trying to make it a weapon. I was…trying to help make you whole. Do you think—?”

Winry’s eyes widen as her words cut off and that’s when Riza realizes exactly what she said. She’d assumed Winry had been working on this specific arm for years and was just offering it to her now due to circumstances. But that’s not what she said. Riza breathes in a breath of surprise when Winry’s eyes verify it. She hasn’t had this prototype lying around for years. She crafted this…especially for _her_. She knew she was a sniper, that she used both hands to handle her guns and that she needed fine coordination. But why? Why would she do this for her?

“Miss Rockbell, why…?”

“Please. Call me Winry.” Riza starts to nod, but realizes if she did she’d bump her forehead against Winry’s. When did she get so close? She feels the heat of her breath and before she can process that fact Winry’s lips brush against hers. 

The touch is a shock in more ways than one. She never had any indication this strong willed, independent young woman had any inclinations for something like this. She’d always believed Winry was secretly in love with Ed. Could this just be some form of pity or comfort? Winry’s lips ghost over hers before pressing a little more firm against her mouth and she finds herself leaning into the kiss. No, this isn’t comfort. This is something she never dared even dream.

She’ll never forget the first time she met her. Winry was nothing but a girl who’d faced too much tragedy at the hand of the military. But when they left that small house in Resembool it wasn’t Ed’s indomitable strength that impressed her like it so had Roy. It was Winry’s. Even at her young age she could see the fiery determination burning so brightly inside her. Later on it ended up being because of her she decided to grow her own hair out. She’d always thought looking too feminine could be a drawback in a man’s world. But if this young woman could be such an accomplished automail mechanic while still holding on to her femininity, why couldn’t she?

Winry’s tongue very lightly brushes against her lips and she can’t do anything but part them for her. This woman was always her most secret crush, something she wouldn’t even admit to in her own dreams. She doesn’t know why she’s doing this, but for the first time in her life Riza can imagine something beyond duty. It’s a fragile hope, this tiny flame kindling inside her, but maybe there is more to this world than allegiance to her father, Roy and the military. Maybe, just maybe, she could carve out a little something for herself….

Or maybe she’s delusional.

Winry finally breaks the kiss, but doesn’t pull away. Her hot breath is soft against Riza’s face as they both pant lightly from the kiss. Riza’s heartbeat thunders in her ears and she can’t remember a time away from the battlefield she’s ever felt quite this alive. Please. Please don’t let this be pity.

“I-I’m sorry.” Winry moves back a fraction and Riza feels her heart sink. “That was-that was unprofessional. I shouldn’t have—.”

“Did you want to?” The words are out of Riza’s mouth before she thinks and she opens her eyes to see Winry’s wide blue ones looking at her fearfully. Did she regret it? Or does she think Riza didn’t? If that’s what she’s thinking she couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“I…yes.” Winry takes a breath, stands up straighter and the trepidation in her eyes is instantly replaced with determination. This is the woman she remembered. This is the woman she’s never been able to forget. “Yes, I did. And to be honest, I’ve wanted to for a long time.”

That tiny little flame inside Riza’s heart, so close to going out, flickers and grows a little bit stronger. She smiles a genuine smile, one fueled by her own inner strength and determination. “Good.” Winry’s eyes widen a fraction and Riza continues on with more confidence. “Because I have too.”

Winry doesn’t react for a moment, and when she does she nearly drops the priceless, metallic creation in her hands. Riza reaches her hand out, palm up, as she meets Winry’s eyes with her own. “If you’re willing, I’d love for you to be my automail mechanic.” She continues to hold her hand out when Winry doesn’t immediately take it. “And then, maybe…something more?”

A slow smile spreads across Winry’s face and for Riza it’s like seeing the sun break through on a cloudy day. She reaches out to take Riza’s hand and Riza savors the strength she feels in those calloused fingers. Never in her life has she believed in destiny or fate, but she can’t help but wonder at the circumstances that have brought them together this way.

“I’d like that.” Winry takes a step closer and Riza feels her set the automail down in her lap. “Especially the something more.”

The second kiss is even better than the first because this time there’s no doubt on either side and that flicker of a flame spreads through her a little more. So much of her life she’s spent doing nothing but moving forward, never looking back, and never knowing what she was looking for other than her undying loyalty to the men in her life. She always thought it was enough. But now she can’t get Winry’s words out of her head. 

She didn’t come here looking for this, but she’s seen time and time again sometimes what you need isn’t what you’re looking for. She never thought of herself as incomplete. But now she wants to see more than anything if she really can be whole. And she has a feeling Winry might be the one to show her.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and concrit are always loved and appreciated, especially on this experiment! :-)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Mechanic’s Passion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/745553) by [Catw00man](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catw00man/pseuds/Catw00man)




End file.
